My demons never sleep, so I never sleep.
“
| — | S. N. A. (via already-lost-for-good) |
Losing you wasn’t just painful, it was fucking damaging also. It wasn’t me sitting down on a couch surrounded by my friends as we watched movies and ate food to try and forget you. It was me staying up at four in the morning because the thought of you was so fucking strong I couldn’t even close my eyes without seeing your face. It was me swallowing thickly and blinking back tears every time I was in public, the hole in my chest causing my breaths to come out shaky rather than normal. It was me laughing at things for no reason as my stomach turned because the urge of falling apart was getting stronger. It was me crying at random hours during the day and me not wanting to get up out of bed. It wasn’t just me staring blankly at your number, deciding wether or not if I should call you. It was me throwing my phone at the wall and breaking it, because I was drunk again and the thought of you ever changing your information terrified me. It was me deleting our conversations and regretting it because now I couldn’t know where we had went wrong. It fucking hurt, losing you had hurt and I wasn’t ever able to forget that kind of pain.
“
| — | A.M.// getting over someone is horrible (via tullipsink) |
I remember thinking to myself that I’ll never meet someone who sparks a fire in me. I thought maybe I’m just not capable of having romantic feelings. I would try with people and it was just never there. I got tired of trying. Then out of no where I met an amazing person. I didn’t ask for them because I had already given up on the idea. I feel like my world is a little brighter.
“what’s your drug of choice?” she asked.
“hope,” he said. “the most addicting one of all.”
“
| — | (via beautifulimpairment) |
telling your kids that they can only ever trust family or that family is all they’ve got is the most toxic fucked up twisted manipulative shit and i would rather die than let myself believe that
Who hurt you
my parents
The way she looks at me with those eyes, makes me melt every fucking time.
“
| — | Just take me now ~ (via hazu-kun) |
“Why couldn’t you ever just choose me? Are you really that scared of me?” I said defensively.
He took a long breath.
I hadn’t thought he was going to respond because he never has when I got like this.
Demanding answers.
He usually runs.
But the words spilled from his mouth.
“Yes, and I can’t have you because I fuck everything up.
I would love nothing more than to let myself be with you.” He said running his hands through his hair.
“You know I love you.” He said, eyes meeting mine as my breath stilled.
“But I will not hurt you like that.
Because I know I will,
It’s what I do.
You know it and I know it.
I will break your heart.” He told me as he cupped my face and kissed my forehead before turning away and leaving.
I was stunned in that moment.
I wanted to stop him.
But the words were stuck in my throat.
Of all the things I’ve always wanted to say in a moment like this.
I knew this was my one opportunity.
Because he was a runner.
But I couldn’t get past the lump forming.
We never spoke of it again.
But I wish I had told him that,
this already hurts.
Having him,
but not completely.
Loving him but knowing
that we would never be together.
That this was already breaking my heart.
That I would have risked the pain and heartache,
Just to have a chance together.
He took a long breath.
I hadn’t thought he was going to respond because he never has when I got like this.
Demanding answers.
He usually runs.
But the words spilled from his mouth.
“Yes, and I can’t have you because I fuck everything up.
I would love nothing more than to let myself be with you.” He said running his hands through his hair.
“You know I love you.” He said, eyes meeting mine as my breath stilled.
“But I will not hurt you like that.
Because I know I will,
It’s what I do.
You know it and I know it.
I will break your heart.” He told me as he cupped my face and kissed my forehead before turning away and leaving.
I was stunned in that moment.
I wanted to stop him.
But the words were stuck in my throat.
Of all the things I’ve always wanted to say in a moment like this.
I knew this was my one opportunity.
Because he was a runner.
But I couldn’t get past the lump forming.
We never spoke of it again.
But I wish I had told him that,
this already hurts.
Having him,
but not completely.
Loving him but knowing
that we would never be together.
That this was already breaking my heart.
That I would have risked the pain and heartache,
Just to have a chance together.
“
| — | melindacarolinee (via melindacarolinee) |
